edges of knowing(not); 3months, 1/4 cycle, for T.

Go back to The Garden
where you first saw
The Tree of Knowing
and kept a safe distance

Return again, and this time,
let Adam
pluck from the living wood,
This time let Eve ask 'If' not 'How'
and engage with him,
now knowledgeable man,
in intelligent conversation
while our Omniscient and
All ways loving G()d
is still, within,
hearing,
 reach

Then, when this first couple
know the sound of Hashem,
G~d himself mainfesting//LLVD//manifesting,
rustling the bushes in the Garden
as usual
 towards evening,
When, then they hear His Voice, as if a question:
"Where are you?"
Then both would rush towards
arm in arm
both clothed and ashamed.
Not of their nakedness, but of their own undoing,
not cowering behind cobbled together excuses,
lies, mutual accusations
involving a snake,
But, what if, if even as they sprang forward
begging forgiveness, cowering, not bold,
making tshuva, placing sorrow and errors into one basket,
the first corban, prefect humble
presenting to the Master of the Universe
begging, beyond asking for rachmanus,
for having fallen into the black hole of doubt,
took, plundered!
 when all had been at their fingertips
{so much like we do
over and over
with new love made old
and discarded}

How would it have been, then,
and now!
if not then, but now?
 If
~~~
I will keep the blood red golden hearted apple
the yellow streaks of a simple delicious
gathered into the perfect form
No! Not my imagination,
although it predated Pinterest
and Instagram,
there are a few
digital
images
[[(ask, and they are yours, all that's left
for the apple is gone, not even buried,
but trashed)]]
Then, innocently, it entered my grasp
totally unsuspectingly, me turning over
fruit, while shopping at Supersol
now Supersol Deal, Yashir, and Shel'li

Yet another gift ,
in form of reminder to me
that it was meant to be
and be gone

Easy to think so
to thank you from afar,
as ever, as if forever.

No need to worry
Of course, I'll always love you,
like one of the not-a-songs
that we played as if together

yes, the distance~time grows greater and easier
daily, but for foolish longing

no, I would not expect you to answer
if I wrote,
although as my muse, I still have the earworm
of your niggun
now almost inaudible
envisioning
your fingers on the keyboard
flying, soaring,
magic carpet Like
caressing to carry and embrace
sustained voice
piano keys as wind
instrument,
harplike resonance
no longer watching
actually dancing
in song applaudable

PUBLIC APOLOGY in private

need to slow down

or maybe use my voice in public only for singing

:

What I had wanted to say,
is that I would like to make this a PUBLIC APOLOGY,,,,

then to ask, if I could or should
"CC: the other people who were there,
and your sweet sister
because I'd asked them for help,
no , beseeched their kind intervention.
With special thanks to the luminous Laura~lanu."

WHEN I should have asked her,

"Blessings in all y/our endeavors for all,
for the Good,, , , , ,"
.
shldawouldacouldamightahafta
ifIhad
.
done
.

.

falling off the ray

& then having to dissipate
more
energy

in correcting,

while always having to remember,
that when
traveling at
the speed of light,

what you see is not
what you get,

. .
And the now is then,
as soon as you get it.
got it?
.

worse,

or better
to know that, from the outset,

even before the beginning of the 'start'

that at this rate of movement

approaching the edge of existence
all ways

as we know it,

even the most minuscule error

quickly becomes
tragic

.

ask any driver

after, the accident

.

that's why G()d, Hashem Hagadol

made us so

(in)sensitive

.

so as not to die from pain

of (not) knowing

in real time

as soon as we

could feel
think,
understand
to adapt to
the agony

.
Not in any way to present this as a plea
for the (so-called) "Right to Know"
when It is really a plea for the contrapostive:
The "Right Not to Know"

.

Or , to quote a quote, that has a rather different angle of view
(which means that it opens up, eventuates, in an entirely different,
albeit integrative universe,,,, i.e., if one wants to give the benefit of
the doubt, i.i.e empathic or active listening)
but speaks to my heart and soul,
with all due respect to Marilyn Monroe RIP:
.

"The apple cannot be stuck back on the Tree of Knowledge; once we begin to see,
we are doomed and challenged to seek the strength to see more, not less."
Arthur Miller Z"L (1915-2005)
,
,
,

dream(ing) on