EMETT, Love forsaken, by self, by Misstake

so many mistakes w you. in my life. the way you erred
why? & if to say:
would be different, if we’d been formally engaged ,

&, if we were married? Would the power of love's covenantal commitment enlighten the dark side, Or would it be the same, tumultuous? Explosive!!! ?
& always on the mend

shrapnel riddled ?
{{is it Israel or Ya’akov’s son that I ask here,
or is this at all, generally, relevant?
As if there is any other reason for
Being? }}

do I need to ask? like your saying that even if I had a car,
I would not come for a cake....
when you knew that this was not cake but a token to your heart
to get to your kitchen
and find ???
, did you not?

not cake but bread, made sweet,

not pudding, but soufflé, allowed to fall,

to be remade crusty and delicious and moist,

when rebaked in the oven,

rising again, quite miraculously.

saved for you, even now as can be frozen and reheated
, ad erev Pessach
{{yes, recipe available upon request. Perhaps I should just post it }}

And it still is. yetzer rah outran the yetzer tov ....??? or the opposite?

the straight question never asked/not answered:
Here is , PART OF THE DETAIL, writ small:
What we never discussed are all of those qualifications,,,,
matters usually
dealt w before proposing marriage,
as you yourself noted.

note: I did not
act out
of fear alone
but out
of not
being
willing
to compromise on love's nes gadol
miracle of tenderness on being embraced,
whole on EMETT, on being In The Story
Y/ours,
of which you are gaone

&, yes, I admit, that I went wrong:
wrong word, wrong turn, wrong time, wrong wrong . . . . . why?
because I am, you are, we are,
simply created, simply stated
flawed

Period, necudah, what’s done is done.

so not 'knowing' you, how could it?
I needed to ask, not having your powers of observation,
{ of all but yourself? or is that not fair,
now that you are simply, not listening }

could the future make tikkun on one and the other, self, each other; present, past? future? tense
I am sure about the past present and present past
brought forward
but could we be that together ?
eyes wide shut open for each other
could we do that , one for the other,
the way it was meant to be
from before the inception,
ezer k'negdo?
:helpmates, soulmates, b'shrt,
fullcomplEted whole souls
or at least as if,
the closest limit
the nearest close approximation
on this earthly plane
of matter, laws, equations

There is more detail, syn, neX\ /T correction and notes to myotherself